


Hairstyle of the Gods

by SorchaR



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Loki is not trustworthy in matters of fashion, M/M, Spanking, Steve might be Tony's Dom here if you wanna read it that way, Thor just never learns, abuse of magical brussels sprouts, implied pseudo-incestuous activity, or anything else really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-19
Updated: 2012-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-10 06:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/463415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorchaR/pseuds/SorchaR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki encourages Thor to make a bad decision. Stems from a conversation I had with Torra and Prism while they were at my house. You should thank them. Or blame them, as the case may be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hairstyle of the Gods

Thor walks into the room with a smirking Loki following, and slowly, as everyone catches sight of him, conversation dies.

"Uh, Thor?" Bruce says after a moment of everyone staring. "What happened to your hair?"

Thor runs a hand over it, beaming. "Is it not clever? With this, my hair will no longer fly into my face in battle, yet I still retain the length that is proper for a warrior of Asgard."

Natasha looks at Loki, whose lips are pressed together to hold back laughter. "You did this," she accuses.

"Do I look like a barber to you?" he protests. "I believe the person who did this was named Opal."

"Indeed! She was most skillful. It seems that this haircut is so popular that it has a special epithet." Thor pauses. "I believe it is something akin to 'toil at the fore and merriment behind.'"

At that, Clint loses it, falling on the floor in a fit of laughter, while Steve just looks even more confused. "I totally do not get that reference," he says.

"I'll explain it later," Natasha says, still looking at Loki. "And you should probably leave before someone explains it to Thor." When Thor frowns, she says, "Just a hint, Thor: when you get a new haircut and the first thing your friends say is 'what happened to your hair?', you've probably made a poor decision."

"But I was assured that this hairstyle is extremely fashionable," Thor says.

Natasha jerks her chin at Loki. "By him?"

"Well..."

Clint sits up. "Thor, seriously, do you have the short-term memory of a goldfish? He's the God of Lies, not the God of Reliable Fashion Advice." He looks Loki up and down. "For which we're all grateful."

Loki draws himself up with great dignity. "I will have you know that my clothing is copied all over Asgard."

"Oh, you guys have 'What Not to Wear' there, too?" 

Loki opens his mouth, but then Tony walks in, takes one look at Thor, and bursts out laughing. "What the fuck, big guy? The Billy Ray Cyrus look is totally not working for you."

"Loki convinced him to do it," Natasha says, and now she's snickering too. 

Thor turns on Loki, brow darkening, voice lowered. "Brother, do you remember the last time you did something like this?"

Loki pretends to think. "Was that the pink breeches, or the time with the codpiece that had -?"

"Enough!" Thor grabs Loki by the nape of his neck. "I believe we need to revisit the conversation we had after that incident."

"That was not a conversation! It was sibling abuse!" Loki digs in his heels as Thor begins guiding him toward their set of rooms. "No! I refuse to go along with this."

Thor smiles in a way that would be pleasant if it weren't for the clenched teeth. "We can do it in our room, or we can do it out here."

Loki looks at him for a minute, then swallows and drops his head, meekly allowing himself to be led out of the room.

"What do you suppose that was all about?" Steve says, and Natasha shrugs.

Tony tosses a handful of cashews into his mouth. "Well, if you really want to know, I can have JARVIS patch in the security footage..."

"Uh, no."

"Yeah, not that curious."

"I'm good."

Clint, still on the floor, raises his hand. "I wanna see." When they all look at him strangely, he says, "What? Loki's getting his ass kicked, I'm all for that."

"Clint." Natasha sits down in front of him and looks at him directly. "Given the nature of their relationship, what form do you think the ass-kicking will take? And what do you think will happen after?"

He blinks. "Oh. _Oh_. Yeah, um, I think I'll pass, after all."

Later, when Loki is eating his dinner standing at the bar "because that is where I wish to eat, you idiot mortal, cease your impertinent questioning before I burn your eyes out of your skull," Natasha glances at Clint and smirks. "Glad you changed your mind?"

He ignores her and turns to Thor, whose hair has been returned to its former length. "You look good."

"Yes. My brother can be reasoned with, though it may not seem so."

"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Tony mumbles, and Steve elbows him in the ribs. "I mean, uh, if you need to keep your hair out of your eyes, we could always get you some barrettes or something."

Loki makes a choking noise, and Natasha hits Tony on the back of his head. "Hey!" he protests. "You are not allowed to thwap me upside the head! Only Steve is allowed to thwap me upside the head!"

Natasha rolls her eyes and does it again. Tony gives Steve an indignant look, and Steve holds up his hands. "I'm not stupid enough to mess with Natasha."

"I bet Loki is," Clint says, snickering. A Brussels sprout hits him in the back of the head and he yelps. "Hey, that's - wait a minute, we're not even having Brussels sprouts. What even is this?"

"Well, it's not a mullet," Tony offers, "so there's that."

"It could be," Loki says, snickering.

In three seconds, there are various weapons trained on him, Tony's reaching for his bracelets, and Bruce is looking a little green around the eyes. Loki blinks, then smiles brightly. "Er, I mean...since I'm at the bar, can I make anyone a drink?"

**Author's Note:**

> I know, making fun of mullets is done to death. I don't care. The idea of Thor in a mullet is funny.
> 
> Title from [this book.](http://www.amazon.com/The-Mullet-Hairstyle-Mark-Larson/dp/1582340641)


End file.
